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What do I do about this?

What do I do about this? I started seeing my girlfriend a little over a year ago. She told me from the beginning that she is not ready for a real relationship. I pursued and we starting dating. We were casual at first, but of course became more and more serious. We both get along really well, we are a great pair and are completely comfortable with one another. She has had a rough past. Her past BF of 5 years used to beat her and use her and hurt her in anyway he could. She fathered his child because he threatened to kill her if she aborted it. She broke free of him and now has her child. She loves her child very much and is a really great mother. She is still young (early 20s) and lives with the child on her own. Due to circumstances I ended up without a place to live and she took me in. I lived with her for 8 months or so. During which we broke up, but got back together, this occurred a couple of times. It was always the same reason, she was not ready for a serious relationship. She wants to be free and not be tied down. I was very reluctant to live with her, because I was never willing to change for girls, I have always had the view of love em and leave em quickly. I have not had too many partners either because I don't chase girls, and I don't fight very hard for their attention. I never wanted kids or to be married. I fought very hard for her, I chased her and made every effort available to make her mine. Her having a kid was annoying at first, but over time I grew to love her kid and her. She made me love the idea of marrying her and being a step dad and making a family of my own with her. When I say these were HUGE steps for me I sincerely mean it. I am mid-late 20s she is early-mid 20s. Neither of us are ready at all right now for marriage or anything like that, but I would love being with her until we are. Because I lived with her she was there all the time, and she is really not like other girls. I know all girls claim they are not, but she truly is not like other girls. She likes her space, she doesn't like to be bothered. Living with her I wanted to be around her all the time (I was falling in love). She fell in love with me as well. Due to her past and things she has been through when ever a relationship gets too real, she runs. She can't take the idea of being tied down and told what to do. She was forced to mature quickly and never got to experience the things young people are supposed to. So now when she is faced with a real life situation such as a serious relationship where marriage and family is in the future she runs and breaks free. We broke up and got back together several times and the final one was on my birthday. She broke up with me and made arrangements for me to leave her house. I know this sounds horrible, but I assure you she is really a sweet girl and didn't just kick me out. She spoke to one of my best friends and made arrangements. She needed her space she told me. She wasn't ready for this relationship, it was 1 week after our 1st year anniversary. I took it bad. She started hanging out with my friend who took me in. They started getting closer and I suspected they were starting to like each other. I got furious and paranoid and accused her, she denied it. I accused him, he denied it. We were still having sex while I was there, but soon after I got my own place. They were still hanging out and I still brought up that I think they have feelings for each other. They both told me I was not in my right mind, and that there were no feelings and they would not let it get there. My friend comes over my house recently and tells me that she admitted to having feelings for him, and that he has feelings for her. I was enraged. Everything I had suspected was true. They have not acted upon their feelings, which I believe (probably stupidly) but now me and my friend, well ex-friend are arguing and I told him if he does this it will ruin our 10 yr + friendship. I told her if she does this I will never speak to her again. She says that she can't lose me. That I am the greatest thing that has ever happened to her. She says that she really does want to marry me one day, and that her life would be so great with me. She tells me that I am a better man than him and that I am so wonderful and the perfect guy. She tells me that she still loves me and has feelings for me, and that she hates herself for doing this. She says she has always hated girls like this and thought that it was always just a girl being a btch for doing something like this, and she believe she let it get this far. She says that when something gets too real or serious she runs and ruins it. She is self destructive, but wants to change. She said that I am the first guy that she has ever wanted to change for. Part of the reason is that she has never had an orgasm from a man. I knew this from the beginning but of course (being male) I thought I could do it. But she is really embarrassed by this and often when trying to help her ac achieve one, she would get discouraged and say that she is "broken" and would not want to be touched because she felt useless and broken and thinks that its her fault. So part of it is that she thinks that maybe if she runs to a new guy that he will bring her to O. I have been doing research and I have told her to let me help her get their, and she has agreed. I told her she has to communicate with me what feels good, and that just talking to me is a big part. I know this seems really messed up and that I should walk away from this, but my heart is with her. I understand her better than anyone, and all the things she hates about herself and is afraid to say to me because she fears what I will think, I have told her I know them, and I still love her. I am endlessly sweet to her, and always loving. I would do anything for this girl. She has my heart. I'm sure the common advice will be that she is no good, and I should move on. But I can't. I want nothing more than to bring her into my loving family and make everything right. She knows this and tells me there are somethings that I can not fix that she has to. I just want to be there for her, and I would spend the rest of my life trying to make her happy. And no its not a 1 way street she is also unbelievably giving and loving. She is in so much pain for what she has done, and was ready to walk away from both of us because she knows it is wrong. She is really trying to change her ways and I want to be there. She is really happy that I haven't walked away from her like her past friends/boyfriends. She knows that I am crazy about her and that I am in love with her. My friend how ever, I am not sure I can ever trust him again, and in my mind right now, I am happy never talking to him again. He betrayed me in the worst way and I can not forgive him. He knows how I feel about her and he used to talk bad about her, now he claims to like her. I think he is just being himself, which is spoiled and selfish. He always puts himself before his friends, especially when it comes to a girl. Now he is trying to steal my girl. I call her my girl even though we are broken up right now. But she still loves me and she ran because she is scared that I will end up like her ex, and again when her emotions become too real she runs. So now me and my ex-friend talk to her and she talks to us but me and him don't talk, unless arguing. She doesn't know what to do, because of course we both want to be with her. She has already agreed to let me try and help her achieve an orgasm before she even decides whether or not to date him. That right there tells me that she wants to be with me, she wants me to be the one. That tells me that she doesn't even really like him, that she just ran when things got real and now there's some new exciting guy and she is falling into her old patterns, but that she is trying to fight it. I know again everyone is going to tell me to leave her and it's not worth it, but believe me it is. I didn't know girls like her exist and she has my heart. I want nothing more than to be with her. She has told me that if she were to be with him it would be short lived because everyone that knows her has told her that she is being stupid and that it would end quickly and she would feel really stupid and horrible by doing that and that she would lose the greatest guy that she has ever had. She of course was defiant and rebelled saying that she could have a real relationship if she wanted. But she knows that it is true. That she would realize her mistake quickly and come running back to me. I do apologize for this being so long winded and all over the place with thoughts, and if anyone is still reading this far into this post, I applaud you. I would love any advice anyone is willing to give. Especially if any girls out there have similar experiences. Thank you all again, I hope this wrks

Public Comments

1. wow. dude, just support her and help her in any way you can. everyone has their problems, and im sure that with all you two have been through, you can make it. i wish you two the very best. :)
2. There is something wrong with this question... it (Y!) will not allow an answer.