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What do you think about this guy...?
This is for a friend. He`s 30, she`s 28. My friend has been dating this guy for about 3 months. Everything started pretty good, you know the usual, getting to know each other. But since the start of their relationship they continued to do their own thing, meaning he`s an athlete and loves sports and she works a lot, so during the week it`s always been about themselves and weekends they spend together. At first, everything seemed ok with my friend, but now she`s starting to want more off this guy, yet he seems to always put his sports first, and every free time he gets, he`s too tired to see her. She`s confused because on weekends their relationship seems perfect and during the week is always about him and his sports and his responsabilities. Another thing: It took about a month and a half for them to get intimate, because she wanted to wait. They responsibly talked about being careful and how she was going to get on the pill. After their fIrst time, which should be the most romantic and passionate, he became really really paranoid that she could get pregnant. He wanted her to take the after day pill just in case all while she`s like, calm down! All this just freaked her out and kind of bummed her out. After his paranoid moment she told him he wasn`t ready to have a relationship with her that included sex, so until he matured about this, she felt it was best if they just continued their relationship without the sex part. She really thought he would come around and say no way, i love you and I want to be intimate with you, share this with you! but instead he told her that that was the best thing they could do! My friend has always been intimate in all her relationships with other guys and has never been irresponsible as to get pregnant or risk it and she feels it`s so weird for this guy to be like, "ok, no sex!" I already gave her my opinion, but I want to show her your answers so she can make a decision on what to do. Thanks! *please no rudeness
Public Comments
- Sounds like there are some pretty serious concerns considering how early it is in the relationship. The "no sex" thing is weird too. From a guy's point of view I'd sooner give up food than sex. I'd say she needs to get some answers and find out how serious this guy is before continuing the relationship and wasting her time with someone that's not into her. And for what it's worth when you said he avoids her during the week and panicked about the idea of pregnancy I immediately thought "He's in another relationship.".
- Sounds like this guy is totally focused on himself or career or future goals with his sports or something. That's usually a good thing, but to swear off sex because he don't want you pregnant is pretty much a good sign that he "Just ISN'T that into YOU"
- Something is seriously wrong. Does he already have a kid she is not aware of? She's going to have to get used to the idea that he is only going to be around on the week-ends or move on. Sounds like he has something going on during the week. He may have a girlfriend who only works week-ends. He might have to take care of his child during the week (ex works midnights or afternoons). Or he is so into himself that he decided that the week-ends were good enough. Along time ago, one of my bf's only saw me on the week-end but that was because he was doing coke during the week - when I found out, he said he thought he was compromising (I would never had dated him had I known). . .
