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Should I take him back?
I've been seriously dating a coworker (20 years my senior) for about 9 months now. For the first 6 months, our relationship was amazing; I have never felt this depth of love or chemistry with anyone else. Our relationship became rocky over the holidays, and we began fighting regularly. A week ago, he began to accuse me of infidelity when I told him I needed to take some space. This prompted me to wonder why he would ask (people in glass houses...). I did some internet snooping (which I should not have done, I realize) and found out that he had been emailing women on an online dating site. I mean, I found about 35 emails from him asking to meet these people, telling them details about himself (even where he lives) and that he "had been with another woman but it wasn't working out." After I pushed more, he confessed that he had gone out for "a drink" with one of these women (the day after he told me he wanted to take a break from us) and lied to me about it. This truly broke me heart. I feel so betrayed. I confronted him about this, and told him how badly he had broken my heart. He at first got mad at me for invading his privacy and tried to justify what he'd done by saying that I had made him so unhappy that he didn't know if he should commit to me. After several heated phone conversations about all this, I told him we were over. Last night, I received 15 text messages begging me to give him another chance. He also called me at 1:00 am crying hysterically and begging for me to take him back (telling me how much he loves me, how sorry he was for hurting me, how foolish he was, and that he felt as if he'd lost his best friend). I still love this man, and my first instinct is to go back to him. All my closest friends are telling me not to, but I don't know what to do. He really, really hurt me, but in my heart I feel like he is "the one." I need some objective opinions on this. Please help. And I should mention that he is a very successful litigator. Crying and begging are not things he really ever does. He's also in the process of finishing a divorce (from someone who cheated on him). Lastly, he claims he never had any physical or telephonic conversations with any of these match.com women. Please, please give me some input everyone. I'm very confused and want to try and make the best decision. Need objective perspectives.
Public Comments
- Unfortunately, he is not trustworthy and does not deserve you. If you get back with him you will always wonder if he is still doing shady things and will be tempted to go into his emails. It will never be a healthy relationship. He doesn't value your relationship and he does not deserve you. Please move on and do not allow yourself to be hurt again. Stay strong!!!
